A very interesting thing happened as a result of losing my files. I generally view my own work through a hyper critical lens. This can be a good thing because never being fully satisfied pushes me to constantly expand my skills, to constantly learn, and to explore new possibilities. It can also be a challenge.
Something about believing I had lost the digital files of all my paintings and then recovering some of them, assisted me in seeing my own paintings the way others see them. Each time I would recover one, I would open it up and experience a kind of shock. My critical lens was gone and I saw the magic of my own work. I felt a kind of astonishment and disbelief “I painted that?!!”
I have an amazing life. I am intensely grateful for the beauty which surrounds me and for my many friends who offered so much support as I waded my way through the violation of a home invasion and theft, who provided the means and labour to make my home safer, who offered me laptops (!), who listened to me and assisted me in sorting out my feelings and supported me as I steered my way through this, who honoured my insistence to pay attention to what was important to me, who brought me flowers and love, who sent me emails and gave me phone calls, who painted with me which kept me centered in the here and now – the only place we can ever truly be.
Looking back, looking forward: standing here – expectant and joyful. “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” (Mary Oliver – check her out)